Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Court 101

Having returned from my first ever experience with a court case of ANY kind, I thought I would share some of the things I have learned about court. (Disclaimer: I am not an attorney nor have I ever played one on television. This is my own personal opinion and should not be used in the place of actual legal counsel!)

  • Courts are like mechanics, it will take 3 times as long as you expect it will! (We arrived at 8:30 in the morning and expected to be done by lunch, but didn't finish up until dinner!)
  • Judges only look tall because they are sitting higher then everyone else in the court room! (Our Judge wasn't taller then 5'5" or 5'6", but he looked so much taller when he was sitting in his little booth! I was watching People's Court today and Judge Marilyn got down from her seat to go look at something and she was just as SHORT!)
  • Nursing babies and court waiting rooms do NOT mix! (Poor Victoria! I think the long day was hardest on her! I could hear her crying while I was in the court room. Her big brother William was such a trooper watching her whenever I had to be in court!)
  • It is VERY cold in court. (I don't know why. It may had something to do with the Judge sitting higher then everybody else. You know hot air rises!)
  • If you can't produce documents of your life it NEVER happened! ( didn't happen.)
  • Judges basically already know how they are going to rule in your case. (I think they just enjoy putting people through the circus of "court.")
  • Crying does help your case! (Especially if you are a women and you have a MALE judge! Guys just don't like seeing a woman cry! *wink*)
  • Male attorneys do NOT like getting beat by a girl! (Glad my attorney was the girl!)
  • Using allegory such as "You can't throw a skunk in the jury box and tell them not to smell it!" is proper legal jargon. (Especially in Mississippi).
And finally the most important lesson I learned in court yesterday.......
  • As long as you answer "I can't remember" you are NOT lying! (Even if the question is "Have you been to Trinidad since your daughter was born 7 years ago?")
Court Adjourned! 

1 comment:

Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity said...

Fascinating! But I'm sure not nearly as fun in person as it is to read about. I'm glad it went okay!