Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Than you for your thoughts and prayers. I had never experienced a miscarriage before and nothing could have prepared me for the event. As I had posted earlier I was having some issues with the pregnancy before I miscarried, and I was mentally preparing myself for what could happen. However, it was still a very emotional and traumatic experience. For those of you who have miscarried you know how traumatic the process is. For those of you who have not I pray that you will never have to go through it. I am so very thankful that Andrew was home. I do not know what i would of done if he wasn't.
Andrew conditionally baptized the baby and we called the priest in the morning. Our priest said there wasn't a protocol for a miscarried baby. We decided to bury our baby in the backyard under one of our beautiful oak trees with hanging moss.
When we moved into our house in January we found a shoe box sized pine box in the shed. I do not know what it was from but told Andrew to keep it because we might use it in the future. I believe it was providential that God placed that perfect sized box. We had a small ceremony and buried our little Micah.
My emotions are still raw and I know it will take time to heal but in the mean time I am hugging my babies that God has allowed me to care for here on earth and praying to our families new little saint in heaven for peace. My sister Emily told me something that has given me much comfort during this ordeal. She said: "As Christian parents our main goal is to get our children to heaven. You have already accomplished that with this baby." How true and how wonderful that I can say this!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
My Lord, the baby is dead!
Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?
“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.
You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”
I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity.
-- Mother M. Angelica
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I am having some issues with this pregnancy that I have not had with my other ones. I am debating about weaning Victoria. It is such a hard decision. On one hand if it will keep me from loosing the baby I will and on the other hand if I wean her and than lose the baby (or I already have lost the baby) I will feel bad for weaning her so soon. Pray for wisdom for me as I make a decision. Thanks.
Monday, April 9, 2012
I wasn't able to get a family picture that I liked! The baby will only stand still and smile for 3 pictures TOPS! Especially when there are fun Easter baskets behind her! But this one turned out cute of the girls. They look SO big in this picture. I wish they would stop growing so fast!
The girls worked really really hard during Lent to take thorns out of Jesus' Crown. I even had to add MORE thorns half-way through Lent. I told them that if all the thorns got pulled out then there would be a special surprise come Easter. Well wouldn't you know I FORGOT about putting the flowers in the crown until 6 am Easter morning! Thankfully, the girls were not awake yet and I already had the flowers. They were VERY surprised, even if they both knew I bought those flowers the day before!