Sunday, April 15, 2012

Heartbroken



My Lord, the baby is dead!

Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?

“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.

You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”

I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity. 

-- Mother M. Angelica

5 comments:

Debi said...

Oh NOOOO!!! I'm so sorry!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!!
Hugs!

Roxaline said...

Thanks Debi! I just think it was too soon. My body couldn't handle pregnancy and nursing.

Josette said...

I am so sorry!!! I will pray for you all tonight. God bless you!!

Debi said...

Roxaline, I found this article about breastfeeding while pregnant: http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-safe-to-breastfeed-during-pregnancy_8935.bc

I don't think it's harmful to the unborn baby, it sometimes is just hard on mom....at least in my experience. I hope I didn't indicate that I thought you breastfeeding Victoria was a threat to your baby....I've had 2 miscarriages around the same time as you...my thought was that there was something viably wrong with the baby...not an environmental factor....or something that could have prevented it.
Prayers for comfort and peace.

Roxaline said...

Thanks Debi. Don't worry I didn't think you were implying that. I did my own research and thought that because of hormonal levels my body just couldn't sustain the pregnancy but there may have been something wrong with the baby. I guess I will find out in heaven! I have laid it in God's hands and trust that he knew best even if it was contrary to what I wanted! Thank you again for your prayers. I am slowly healing emotionally and physically.