Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My story


Than you for your thoughts and prayers. I had never experienced a miscarriage before and nothing could have prepared me for the event. As I had posted earlier I was having some issues with the pregnancy before I miscarried, and I was mentally preparing myself for what could happen. However, it was still a very emotional and traumatic experience.  For those of you who have miscarried you know how traumatic the process is. For those of you who have not I pray that you will never have to go through it. I am so very thankful that Andrew was home. I do not know what i would of done if he wasn't.

Andrew conditionally baptized the baby and we called the priest in the morning. Our priest said there wasn't a protocol for a miscarried baby. We decided to bury our baby in the backyard under one of our beautiful oak trees with hanging moss.

When we moved into our house in January we found a shoe box sized pine box in the shed. I do not know what it was from but told Andrew to keep it because we might use it in the future. I believe it was providential that God placed that perfect sized box. We had a small ceremony and buried our little Micah.

My emotions are still raw and I know it will take time to heal but in the mean time I am hugging my babies that God has allowed me to care for here on earth and praying to our families new little saint in heaven for peace. My sister Emily told me something that has given me much comfort during this ordeal. She said: "As Christian parents our main goal is to get our children to heaven. You have already accomplished that with this baby." How true and how wonderful that I can say this!

7 comments:

Debi said...

Aaah, what a sweet and sad post. Yes, Emily is right, I always say my miscarried babies are my easiest Saints...God knows how we need so many prayers so he provided some very close prayer warriors in Heaven for us....sometimes I talk to my babies and ask for their prayers. Have you read, "Heaven is For Real" ?, it was very comforting to me especially in light of miscarriage.

Prayers and Hugs to you, Roxaline!!

Roxaline said...

Thanks Debi, I have not read that book but I am going to look for it at the library or Amazon! I hope all is going well with your pregnancy! I think about you daily and pray that your pregnancy will be safe! I still want to be your prayer warrior even if I can't be a preggo buddy! ;)

Cecilia said...

Oh.. I am sorry about your lost. It is one of the hardest times in my own life. Especially just now losing Benedicto at a later time and see the body and all. But I do have my sweet children on earth and 3 in Heaven praying for me and their family. To Know that 3 of my children have seen the face of God and felt the touch of our Lady is worth it all. A great book, that I highly highly recommend is After Miscarriage: A Catholic Women's Companion to Healing and Hope. This book is a gift from God. Karen really gave us so much in such beautiful book. God Bless you and your family in our prayers. I can just see that my boys are playing with your sweet son! God Bless.

Roxie said...

I am so sorry about your loss. We had a miscarriage at 9 weeks with our sixth pregnancy. My only consolation was that this little one had made it to heaven and we now had someone to intercede for us. Praying for you today!

Roxaline said...

Thank you Cecilia. I can only imagine how horrible the miscarriage was at a later date! I was niave to think that at 7 weeks pregnant a miscarry would simply be like a normal cycle!! WRONG! I hate not being able to have my baby here on earth but knowing that my baby is in heaven playing with your boys is a great comfort!!! :) Mothers bear many many burdens and I am thankful for my faith and our Blessed Mother understands our pain. God Bless you and I will be praying for your comfort and peace during this time!

Roxaline said...

Thanks you! I normally am a very private person but I wanted to put my story out so that others will know they are not alone! I have been surprised how many people I know that have had a miscarriage and I never knew!! I believe they may be worried that people will judge them for grieving for a miscarried baby, especially if they lost it in the first trimester!

Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity said...

I'm so sorry! I can't imagine. I've been praying for you!